Real, Raw, and Struggling

Published on 31 October 2024 at 16:08

 Today was one of those days that felt almost unbearable. I went through things I can't even begin to explain. There's just so much happening with my children right now that it's hard to think straight. If you know me, you understand exactly what I'm talking about. At this moment, I'm filled with anger, having thoughts that aren't typical for me. I feel trapped in my own skin, exhausted by the relentless system we navigate every day. My soul is weary.

I keep pushing forward, hoping for positive outcomes, yet here I am again, disappointed. All those good intentions and hard work didn't pay off like I thought they would. So, what comes next? Another meeting, a phone call to a friend, or perhaps opening my journal? These are the things I do daily to cope with the chaos, trying to find some light in the situation. But let's be real for a moment. Right now, I am infuriated beyond belief. This kind of anger clouds my rational thinking and makes it hard to act like myself. Words spill out of my mouth uncontrollably. How do you handle days like this? What happens after the anger subsides?

As I type this, I feel a deep sadness, a sense of defeat and loneliness, unsure of how to manage these emotions. As some of you know, I am sober. I used to turn to alcohol in moments like these, drowning my thoughts in self-pity, hoping for an answer at the bottom of a bottle. Now, I'm writing to you, hoping to find a solution beyond my usual remedies. This year has been one of the toughest in my life, and as I look ahead, 2025 seems equally challenging. Still, I keep moving forward, fighting, and pushing through. I continue to love myself the way I deserve. But what about everything else? Am I the only one having an off day? Let's talk about this. 

When life feels overwhelming and out of control, it's important to find ways to ground ourselves. This I have been practicing. Practicing mindfulness, like taking a few deep breaths or meditating, can help calm the mind. Seeking support from friends or loved ones reminds us we're not alone. I've exhausted this one today that's for sure. Focusing on small things we can control—like our reactions or daily routines—can bring a sense of stability. How do you find peace in chaos? Share your go-to coping strategies or words of encouragement for those who might be struggling. I hope all those that are struggling today or any other day find the coping skills they need to get through and to always reach out for help when it's needed. 

 

I think I will be ending my evening with a cup of tea and a movie. I thought about getting into a good book, but I have realized that I am a bit too distracted for that. Thank you all for all your support and love.

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